Reprinted from Healing the Cause - A Path of Forgiveness and
The Findhorn Book of Forgiveness by Michael Dawson.
See also A Healing Approach (for therapists)
From Healing the Cause
A - Denial of anger
B - Neck pain
C - Infertility
D - Sexual abuse(male)
E - Empowerment
The Findhorn Book of
F - Sexual Abuse (female)
G - Loss of Hair
H - Power of Prayer
I - Early Trauma
J- Losing Trust
K - Concentration Camp Past Life
L - Resistance to Healing
Denial of anger
While I was living at the Findhorn Foundation, a woman who had been ill for three weeks approached me for a healing session. She had flu-like symptoms and a persistent cough which kept her awake at night. During the relaxation stage of the healing session, as I was holding my hands above her chest, she began to feel an uncomfortable sensation in that area. I wanted her to explore this as I felt it contained some insight for her. To help her accept the discomfort, I asked her to describe what she felt or saw in her chest. She said that it felt as if there was a closed wooden gate there. I asked her what she wanted to do with that gate, thinking she might gently open it. Instead, in her mind's eye, she took a large hammer and smashed the gate to pieces. Suddenly she became aware of an intense anger that was focused in this area of her body. As she became aware of it, it moved higher up and lodged in her throat. This caused a coughing fit to occur.
Pursuing the approach of helping her to accept what was there, I asked her to describe how her throat appeared to her. She first described it as a hard red ball but it suddenly changed into a picture of a tall, black, ugly looking monster. She was very disturbed at seeing this image in her mind. I knew the picture of the monster was an important messenger carrying information about what was denied in her unconscious. It was important for her to accept this new picture and not to resist it. I encouraged her to try and make friends with the image but she found this very difficult. However, at one point she felt guided to give it a gift. She saw herself take a golden chain out of her heart and clasp it around the neck of the monster. As she did this, its eyes changed from being cold, hard and angry to eyes of love and compassion. I encouraged her to approach the monster to see if she could touch it. She was able to stroke it for a few moments only.
At that point, the healing session finished. She had become aware that during these three weeks of illness she had been denying strong feelings of anger. The following day she told me that her cough had disappeared shortly after the session had finished and the remaining symptoms of her illness had also now gone. We had both been given a powerful example of the effect of denial. Her original anger had been internalised, creating sickness in the body. It was here that she thought the problem lay until she undid her denial, accepted the pain in her mind and let it go. p.54 - 56
B - Neck pain
After my first visit to the Findhorn Foundation, I returned the following year and took part in a healing workshop. During this period I said "yes" to working more deeply with healing. I did not realise until much later that this was the path I had chosen to help heal myself. Most of the people at the Foundation believe that their thinking at least contributes to their disease. This allowed me to help my clients reach deeper levels in their mind where a lack of forgiveness lay and gave them the opportunity to change their mind about some painful issue. If my client could achieve forgiveness, his sense of guilt would disappear and its shadow in the body - the disease - would go. The following story seeks to illustrate these points.
John asked to see me about the chronic pain at the base of his neck. He was somewhat sceptical about experiencing this type of healing as he came from a scientific background. The neck pain had been present for some months and his hospital had advised a long course of physiotherapy. I explained to John that there was a part of his mind which knew exactly what the cause of this problem was. To help him to access this, I told him I would take him through a relaxation procedure and try some ways which might help him to let go of his rational mind so he could open to his inner wisdom.
I asked John to lie down and made him comfortable with cushions and a blanket. Using a progressive relaxation method, I asked him to tense and release all the muscles in his body. Whilst he was doing this, I kept my hands lightly on his head as I find this helps me to join with the client as well as aiding their relaxation. I asked John to say a prayer to indicate his willingness to receive the help that is always there and to ask for help in seeing what thoughts he needed to change in his mind which would bring about healing. In my previous conversation with him I had discovered he was open to working with prayer. I joined his silent prayer with one of my own. I asked that I might open myself to my own source of help and be used as a channel in this healing session.
We remained in silence for a few minutes whilst I continued to lay on hands. I then asked John how he was feeling and if there was anything happening for him. He told me that the face of his aunt had appeared to him and had spoken the following words: "This pain in your neck is vengeance upon yourself for what you did." John told me that this was not said in any accusing manner but as a simple statement of fact. However, the words made no sense to John and we decided to leave this intriguing message for the moment. Although John had stressed that he had a well-developed logical, rational and scientific mind, I felt he also possessed strong intuition. I felt drawn to try some imagery in the form of a guided journey, to help lead him to his own source of inner wisdom.
I began the journey by asking him to visualise himself walking down a country lane on a summer's day. To encourage him to experience all his senses, I asked him to feel the road underfoot, smell the flowers, hear the sounds of nature and observe the surroundings and the sky above him. In this manner he became more involved with his inner world which, in turn, loosened the hold of his rational mind. I continued to guide him on his journey in nature, sometimes stopping to enable him to study some object of interest.
The goal of this journey was to connect John with some symbolic form of his inner wisdom or higher self - what the Course calls the Holy Spirit. However, this guided journey was soon to come to an abrupt end. I had thought that I was leading him through a forest when he stated, with some irritation, that he had tried four times to enter this forest without success. Each time he tried, the trees would turn into a white mist and the forest would disappear.
One of the maxims I work with in healing is: "Anything you resist, persists - anything you accept can heal." I told John to accept this mist, ask for help and continue to walk through it. As he continued, a human cell appeared in the mist surrounded by violet light. His scientific training enabled him to recognise it as a human cell and, further, to know that it was cancerous. Suddenly, the memory of his dying mother returned to him accompanied by strong feelings of guilt and shame. He told me he had felt unable to cope with the situation at the time and had given the care of his mother to his aunt. This was the same aunt who had appeared at the start of the healing session.
John began to cry tears he had been unable to shed at the time of his mother's illness. He realised he had repressed all his guilt and shame around this issue and now needed to obtain forgiveness. I encouraged him to 'invite' his mother into this session and express to her all the things he needed to say. I told John to imagine that his mother was really here in the room and to speak out loud to her. When he had finished, I asked him to listen to anything his mother wanted to say to him and to speak out loud what she said. In this way John was given an opportunity to share his buried feelings with his mother and forgive himself for his past actions.
I then asked John if he felt complete with his experience and to return his awareness to the room we were in. He told me that the pain in his neck felt much better and he now understood the significance of his aunt's remarks at the start of the session. His mother had died of cancer of the base of the neck and John felt his repressed guilt and shame over the handling of his mother's illness was reflected in his own bodily pain occurring in the identical area.
About four days later, just before John was leaving the Findhorn Foundation, I asked him about his neck pain and he told me that the improvement had been maintained. We had both experienced a powerful example of how the guilt in our mind is reflected in our bodily condition and how the power of forgiveness can dissolve both.
p.23 - 26
C - Infertility
The following story is an illustration of the power the mind has over the body. One evening, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find a nervous young woman called Jane who had arranged to have a healing session with me that evening. Standing next to her was her girlfriend with whom she was in relationship and who had come to give her support. Jane was so nervous that her friend almost had to push her into the room. Upon talking with her it was apparent that she was afraid to be alone with a man. Her problem was that they both wanted a child and Jane was to be the mother. She had been trying artificial insemination for some time but with no success. Jane herself was a doctor and a medical colleague had informed her that she had a "hostile cervix" which killed the inserted sperm. It seemed very likely to me that she had a deep issue around forgiveness of men which was being reflected in her body. As we talked together, she mentioned that her early relationships had been with men. When she was 20 years old, she had been raped and this had left a scar upon her mind. In one of her relationships she had become pregnant and had the pregnancy terminated.
We began the session with relaxation prior to focusing on Jane's feelings around men. When I suggested she work with forgiving the men who had caused her pain, she experienced strong anger. She felt this anger in her hands, legs and stomach area. At the same time, she experienced a headache. We worked with acceptance of what was happening, both of us asking for help. To her surprise, memories and feelings in connection with her abortion, which she had repressed, began to surface. Jane thought that she had healed this issue but the awakened memories were intense. At one point she began to crawl around the room like a baby. She felt she was giving the aborted child the life she had denied it.
The guilt she was now experiencing was intense and she saw it symbolised in the form of a vulture. I encouraged her not to be fearful of it and to try and accept it. Jane reported that it gradually dissolved as she watched it with love and acceptance. This was followed by a dramatic insight and Jane announced, "I can conceive - I've forgotten this!" In her imagination she saw this energy of conception flow into her womb and a darkness leave it. She felt this symbolised her forgiveness of herself. At the end of the session, Jane wanted to give me a hug but was apprehensive due to her ambivalence towards me as a man. She cautiously held me for a short while and felt pleased she was able to touch a man again. The following day she reported experiencing some pain in her lower abdominal area which I took as a positive sign that something was changing for her. She also told me that she was practising hugging men in her imagination.
A few months later I received a letter from her. She was undergoing artificial insemination again and had arranged to meet the donor of the sperm and had gone out for a meal with him. Jane had realised her need to release her hatred of men, feeling this was reflected in her hostile cervix. She finished the letter by informing me that she was now pregnant and later sent me a photo of herself and her partner with their new baby.
p.76 - 78
D - Sexual abuse
David was a participant in a two-week workshop I was giving at the Findhorn Foundation. During the first week he became aware of a hatred he carried towards himself. He felt the hatred to be 'located' in his solar plexus and that its origin lay in the sexual abuse he had experienced from his uncle when he was ten years old. He only realised in the workshop setting that following the period of abuse, he had repressed feelings of guilt and blame for what had happened. This new awareness caused him much discomfort and he developed asthma and a chest infection by the end of the first week of the workshop. David felt ashamed of his memories, did not want to explore this issue with anyone and considered leaving the workshop. He visited the local doctor and was given a course of antibiotics.
During the start of the second week of the workshop, David asked me for a private healing session. After a period of relaxation and laying on of hands, I decided I would try to get him to explore and accept the hatred he was experiencing in his solar plexus. The Course states: "There is an advantage to bringing nightmares into awareness, but only to teach that they are not real, and that anything they contain is meaningless." (T159; T-9.V.3:1) If David could uncover his 'nightmares' of self-hatred and guilt without judging them, he would then have an opportunity to change his mind about his seeming 'sins' of the past. My own feeling of acceptance and non-judgement of him, which I experienced as I gently guided him on this journey, would also help this process.
To help him undo his state of repression - what the Course calls 'denial' - I asked him to explore the sensation in his solar plexus. Previous experience had taught me that important messages are locked up in our areas of pain. I asked him to describe how large the area of discomfort was, its shape and depth, its colour and texture, and whether it felt hotter or colder than the rest of his body. As it is impossible to resist and explore the pain simultaneously, I was encouraging David to undo his denial about himself. When clients follow this approach, they are describing the "clothes of the messenger" and this can lead them into deeper levels of their mind where the 'nightmares' are to be found.
David discovered a hard red ball in his solar plexus. I asked this 'messenger' how it was feeling and David replied that it was angry. He experienced a strong resistance to his discovery. He could not accept it in his body and hated it being there. He said it felt like a foreign object which needed to be attacked and thrown out. Feeling his strong resentment towards this part of his body, I went within and asked for help in what to say or do. What came to me was to ask him how this hard, red, angry ball had served him all these years. After all, it was his creation and he was holding on to it with great determination. Not surprisingly, he objected strongly to my question and reiterated he did not want this ball inside him. I felt guided to continue gently exploring this issue with him without any investment on my part in trying to bring about changes in him that I thought were necessary.
Slowly David began to receive insights on how this ball of hatred was serving him. He realised that he had created it as a protection against his fear of opening his heart to people and acting more spontaneously in life. He saw himself as a person dominated by his mind and rigid control patterns. To let go of his investment in his self-hatred and guilt was to free himself to relate more lovingly and openly to people. This opportunity was now before him. He could hear two parts of his mind counselling him: the ego and the Holy Spirit. His ego told him that it would be very dangerous to let go of his control patterns, as he would not be able to predict how people would behave to him if he related more from his heart than his head. The Holy Spirit part of his mind counselled him in the opposite direction.
He had nothing to lose but an illusion of sacrifice. The new way of relating would bring him renewed energy and joy. David could also sense a suppressed part of himself he called the 'joker' and felt it would be fun to let this joker out. As he struggled with these two voices, I asked him if he would try and see if he could give away his angry red ball. I reassured him it would be okay if he could not, but he could lose nothing by the experiment. I suggested he visualise a pair of loving, gentle, golden hands outstretched before him awaiting the gift of his angry red ball. I told him that these hands wanted his pain, not his love, as a gift. The hands were only interested in "removing the blocks to the awareness of love's presence" (Intro, Text) in him. David decided to give his pain away to these hands. As he did this, he started to laugh and cry at the same time. A lightness of being came over him and a strong energy entered his body, so much so that after the session he went off to run and literally jump in the nearby woods. Although he had been on the point of leaving the workshop, he now felt happy to stay and complete it. p.29 - 31
E - Empowerment
The following story demonstrates the fear and resistance we experience as we walk along the spiritual path, and the help that is always there for us.
It was David's first visit to the Findhorn Foundation and he had enrolled for the Experience Week programme. This programme introduces the Foundation to newcomers and includes an afternoon of group games and exercises. In one of the exercises the group splits into pairs who take turns to slowly unfold their partner who lies tightly curled up on the floor. It can be a very moving experience to allow someone to gently and lovingly unfold you from a protected and defensive posture. In David's case, he felt a sensation in his pelvic area as if some energy that had been long locked away was being released. When this force reached his stomach, he decided to stop the process and the energy remained locked there.
Two weeks after this event David came to talk to me. He told me he had felt stuck ever since that exercise. He said it was like being constipated and he knew he had blocked something in himself at that moment. It reminded him of a deeper feeling that he carried, where he felt blocked and inhibited in his life in general. David was about 18 years old with a sensitive and caring nature. As he talked, I sensed that some part of him was holding back from living his life fully. He was ambivalent about being here on the planet and living purposefully. We moved into a healing session and, as we worked with relaxation, he spontaneously returned to the tight, curled-up foetal position he had adopted in the exercise two weeks before. He told me he had regressed to his birth. As he re-experienced the moment of birth, he recognised an intense resistance to coming here. He had decided there and then that he would resist this world and what it stood for.
David had not seen that he had fallen into the trap of "making the error real" and that he was listening to the voice of his ego. He was willing to abandon the purpose of his new life and the lessons he had elected to learn in defiance of what he perceived as a hard and cruel world. David was afraid of opening to this experience and decided to try and protect his sensitive nature by psychologically closing himself down. I could readily understand his experience, for I empathised with much of what he said.
The Psychotherapy: Purpose, Process and Practice pamphlet points out that the therapist draws the clients who are needed to heal the therapist, for both will be working with the same issues albeit in different forms (see the section in the pamphlet on "The Ideal Patient-Therapist Relationship").
David then said a presence had appeared which counselled him to change his mind and do what he had come to do. He was told that just as he had blocked himself at his birth, so too had he repeated this experience two weeks ago in the unfolding exercise. Now David was ready to let go and trust God's will for him. As he relaxed his tight control, he immediately began to experience the blocked energy moving upwards through his body. He experienced feeling very much looser in his body, especially in his legs. At this point be began to cry. After the session, we went for a walk together. We were both aware of a change in him. He felt more alive, energised and unguarded. p.84 - 86
The acceptance of sickness as a decision of the mind, for a purpose for which it would use the body, is the basis of healing. And this is so for healing in all forms. A patient decides that this is so, and he recovers. If he decides against recovery, he will not be healed. Who is the physician? Only the mind of the patient himself. The outcome is what he decides that it is. Special agents (for example pills, doctors, remedies) seem to be ministering to him, yet they but give form to his desires. And it is this they do, and nothing else. They are not actually needed at all. The patient could merely rise up without their aid and say,'I have no use for this.' There is no form of sickness that would not be cured at once.
A Course in Miracles Ml7; M-5.II.2
Sexual Abuse (female)
Sue was a massage therapist. She was concerned whether she could continue with her work as her right arm would become quite painful towards the end of a massage session. During our session Sue began to see a shadowy picture and experience feelings of fear. She had difficulty understanding what the picture was but felt it might be a face as it appeared to have a nose. However, the nose was not really the right shape. Without hurrying, Sue just let the picture be as it was and stayed with the feeling of fear. Suddenly, the picture resolved itself. It was not a face but male genitals. The "nose" was now seen as it really was, a penis.
In the scene that unfolded she was a young girl being forced to masturbate her uncle using her right hand. Despite the pain in her arm the uncle would not let her stop until he was satisfied. On seeing this Sue experienced a strong sensation of anger. The remaining part of the session, after she had vented her anger, was concerned with whether she was ready to let this feeling go, with which she was partially successful. Her feedback, a few days later, was that her arm was much improved.
G - Loss of Hair
One day I was nervously approached by a woman in her thirties. She said she has some problems and perhaps I could help her. It soon became apparent that she was quite nervous around men and she was quick to admit that she'd been sexually abused by her father when she was five years of age.
Her immediate problem was that for some time her hair had been falling out. We decided to work together on this issue. Early in our session, she saw an image of herself when she was five years old. The child appeared happy and playful and on seeing this she started to cry. This picture reminded her that she had known little happiness since the time of abuse by her father. She had developed a hatred for men which had been ongoing for over 30 years. It was like a tape that she had in her mind. Each morning she would wake up and start that tape. She could not see that she was using the memory of that abuse to justify the way she felt about life, particularly men. The abuse had become something precious to her that she needed to hold onto. No-one puts themselves through such pain if they did not think there was some "benefit" to them.
In her vision the little girl took her, the adult, by the hand and led her to the entrance of a house. She was taken upstairs to room and then told to go inside. Awaiting her was her father. She immediately became angry and sat up. "How could he have done this to me!," she exclaimed. "My mother knew this was happening but she did not stop it!" She had switched on he "hate tape". I said she was free to stop this healing session if she wanted but here was an obvious chance for her to work with something she had so painfully held onto for so long. I suggested she might try dialogue with her father, asking him why he had done this to her. She decided to carry on with the healing session and proceeded to question her father. He replied that, at that time, as well as being married to her mother, he also had two mistresses. He felt intimidated by all three women and the only place he could demonstrate any form of power was with her.
For the first time she had some explanation of why the abuse had occurred, and with this realisation was able to relax more. Suddenly, she became very quiet and still, and it felt very right to leave her in that space. After about five minutes she started to smile and recounted to me her experience. She said that she had gone to a time before she was born where she was in communication with her father to be. They had a great love for each other. In her next life she wanted to learn more about love, forgiveness and compassion. It was agreed between them that when she was born to him he would sexually abuse her. In this way she would be given a major life lesson of forgiveness and healing. She was obviously very happy at this insight and felt it was right for the healing session to end there.
About two weeks later I saw her again. She approached me and gave me a hug. The caution and fear I had experienced at our first meeting was gone. She told me that her hatred of men had ceased, her hair had stop falling out and her anger towards her father had gone. I had not healed her but simply given her an opportunity to face perhaps the major lesson of her life, to look at her hatred and to let it go, or forgive it.
H - Power of Prayer
Mary was in a weak state and had been confined to bed for a few days. She had asked me to see her as she had discomfort in the area of her womb. After the initial relaxation stage we both uttered a silent pray as she was happy with the idea of asking for help. A few minutes later when I asked her what was happening for her, thinking that I was now about to start the session. Instead she told me that after the prayer she moved immediately into a quiet and deep space within her. "I was shown that I was strongly resisting certain lessons in a relationship that I am currently in. These lessons were very clear and I had to decide to accept them and stop getting upset with my partner. I said that I would and felt that I meant it. Immediately the discomfort in my womb starting to melt away." At this point she felt complete with the session and so we stopped there. Mary told me later that the following day she was well enough to leave her bed.
I - Early Trauma
Jean had confined herself to bed because her ears were giving her considerable pain. The condition had been ongoing for many years. We spent some time exploring and accepting the pain in her ears. Suddenly, a picture of her childhood home appeared to Jean. She was standing by a door watching her parents arguing heatedly. At one point her mother's glasses fell to the floor. Jean felt this scene must have been a very painful experience as she saw herself cover her ears and run off to be with her sister. I encouraged Jean to talk out loud to her mother as if she were in the room and tell her of her feelings. In this way, long-suppressed feelings have a chance of being expressed and released. Jean then experienced a pain in her side, a condition she had also suffered for many years. She next saw herself in the bathroom up against the bath and being kicked in the side by her father. As she re-experienced the scene the pain left her side and moved into her right arm. The scene of the quarrel between her parents returned to Jean's awareness again. As she watched then quarrel Jean felt motivated to pick up her mother's glasses from the floor with her right arm and offer them to her mother. As she did this the pain left her arm. The following day Jean was able to leave her bed with her condition improved.
J- Losing Trust
It was late in the evening and I was about to retire when I was approached by a tearful young woman needing a healing session. Although I felt tired it did feel the right thing to say yes to her request.
Kate had been wandering around in the woods, outside the college, feeling that she had lost trust with life. Early on in the session she spontaneously started on an inner journey. Entering through some doors she descended a staircase into darkness. Fearing what might be there, Kate could go no further. I suggested she might ask for help and she was rewarded by a being holding a light. Her journey proceeded through tunnels which led to a forest. Eventually she was stopped by a cliff. I had been silent throughout most of this journey and was feeling quite tired by now. Nor did I feel very connected with Kate and her silent experience. She then said "I am stuck on my journey. I am facing a cliff I need to scale but feel you are no longer with me". Her feedback to me was, of course, accurate! It was about 1 am and sleep was calling me. However, I refocused my energies and suggested she visualise a ladder with us both climbing it. Her journey recommenced until eventually she arrived at the top of a mountain. Here she experienced a strong feeling of peace and felt all the negativity she had been carrying melt away. I met Kate a few days later. She told me, "I feel I can trust life again."
K - Concentration Camp Past Life
During the early part of a workshop I was giving, I led the group on a guided inner journey. The object of the exercise was to try to connect the workshop participants more closely with their own inner source of wisdom.
After a period of relaxation and guided imagery I hoped they would meet a wise and loving being with whom they could talk and receive advice. Towards the end of this exercise I noticed that a young woman in the group who had obviously terminated this exercise early. Later that day Mary complained that her right arm was hurting her. It was found that by putting her arm in a sling her pain was relieved. The following day Mary complained that the vision in her right eye was getting worse. Eventually that eye required a patch and a bandage. I asked Mary what had happened on the guided journey we had done yesterday. She said that at the end of the exercise she did not meet a white being whom she hoped for. Instead, a dark figure showed up. This so frightened her she stopped the exercise. I told her that dark beings can be equally useful as they can teach us about our shadow side, the darker areas in our unconscious. I inquired if she wanted to repeat the journey but she declined.
The next day Mary's other eye began to suffer. She said if felt like looking out of a slit in a window. Although by now we were all getting quite concerned about her she was resistant to any offer of healing. During a further exercise she told me that an inner voice spoke to her. It said, " Now is the time to look inside". When I asked her if she was willing to do this she again refused help. A few days later she finally approached me and asked for a private healing session. I repeated the exercise I had earlier given the group, the guided journey to meet a wise being. At the end of this journey she met two beings, a white one and a black one. This time she did not panic but waited to see what would unfold. She began to relive what appeared to be an earlier episode in her life. She was looking for a razor blade and, on finding it, was testing its sharpness on a piece of paper. It soon became apparent that she was reliving a previous suicide attempt. That scene faded and she became quiet again.
I suggested she ask these beings to show her anything she needed to let go, to forgive. She was next shown a scene in a train carriage. It was dark and crowded with many people. The people were very afraid and talking about camps. Eventually, after a long journey, the train stopped and the doors were opened from outside. They were forced to leave the carriage. Step by step she recounted a journey into the gas chambers. After this experience she became quiet.
Once again we called upon these beings and their help. Was there anything else that Mary had to see? This time she was shown a scene during World War One where she was a message runner in the trenches. She remembered how much she had missed her parents whilst serving in that war, a war in which she died. At the end of this experience, the white being returned. It asked Mary if she could look at all she had re-experienced and let it go, to forgive it. She told him that she could do this, that at some deep level she felt that all that had happened to her were somehow right. She could not fully explain this to herself, but that did not seem to matter. It just felt right to let it all go. She opened her eyes, smiled, and told me she could see perfectly again. Her arm no longer hurt her, she had made a complete recovery.
It seemed to me that her refusal to look within had been reflected in her inability to see properly, perhaps her aching arm reflected her stubborn refusal to let go of her pain and be open to healing. On some level, of which she was unaware, Mary had eventually decided this was her time of healing. She realised that the pain she had been carrying for so long no longer served her, and she was ready to let it go.
L - Resistance to Healing
Julie described to me that several years ago she felt a close connection to Spirit. This provided an anchor in her life, an inner beacon that she had lost contact with, and now wanted to reconnect with it.
Early on in the session she said she felt very stuck and thought nothing was going to happen. I asked her where in her body she felt stuck. Julie felt the blockage was at the top of her head - it felt rather like a trap door that was closed. I asked her if she wanted to open it which she did. To her amazement she found herself floating in space with silver looking beings approaching her. They wanted to talk to her. "This is a load of nonsense!" exclaimed Julie and promptly stopped the session. We chatted for a while and then she decided to try again. I asked her about her statement, if it was her voice saying this is all nonsense. She replied it was not - it felt like a man's voice.
Julie then told me about an experience when she recalled what seemed to be a past life experience. She and her father in that life were male religious leaders who had displeased their tribe. As a punishment they were blindfolded, tied up and left by themselves to die in the desert. Their death was slow and painful. She said that in this life she had a strong allergy to dust. As they were dying she called out to the God they served to rescue them. Close to death, with all hope gone, she had cried out that there was no God, it was all nonsense. Realising the connection between past and current events she felt ready to try again. Entering once more through the "trap door" in her head she once again experienced the silver beings who wanted to counsel her. She spent about 20 minutes in the silence conversing with them. At the end of the session she felt happy that she had left behind her grievances on being abandoned and had reconnected again with her source of love and wisdom.